This is a blog about my journey with Papa God and the things He is showing me about who Jesus is, what He has done, and who I am because of this truth. I have been in church all of my life and accepted the gift of salvation at an early age. I never felt close to God though. I remember writing a poem about being in heaven. Christ was on a throne in the center of the room and was enveloped in bright light. People were coming up to Him, talking to Him, laughing with Him, sitting in His lap, and enjoying Him. I saw myself as standing as far away from Him, in the dark, afraid He would notice me. I belonged in heaven, Christ’s blood had bought that for me, but I felt I could not approach Him. I was jealous of those who were close to Him and I thought if I changed some way then He would notice me.
Three years ago a dear friend gave me a verse from the Bible, written out on an index card, as my birthday present. It was Zephaniah 3:17 “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." She felt Papa God wanted to show me that this is how He feels about me and that He wanted to change my life. That verse popped up everywhere during the year and it always shocked me. By the end of the year I was calling out to Papa to show me this truth, help me to claim it and accept that it was for me.
There were some books that He brought into my life that opened my eyes. The first book is The Shack. That was so powerful. The first several chapters were hard to get through, but the rest of the book was so wonderful. I like what my husband says about the book. “After you get through the yucky stuff at the beginning, it is like having a big warm hug from God.” He was so right. Destined to Reign by Joseph Prince is the second book that really opened my eyes to the truth about who I am in Christ.
It has been an amazing journey; this coming to a place where I know the amazing love that Papa God has for me. It has changed me in so many ways. I have gone from the girl hiding from Papa, to a girl who boldly climbs into His lamp and talks to Him, laughs with Him, cries on His shoulder, and accepts that I am loved by Him. It has made me think of something I heard in church growing up. When the pastor would share about salvation, he would always say “If you were the only one to accept this gift of salvation, Christ would still have come and paid the price for you. He loves you that much.” For the first time in my life that made sense, it rang true, and I felt free.
One of the things that have been fun in this journey is looking at Scripture. It is so wonderful to see how this relationship is something that Papa God has wanted to have with man since the beginning of time. I am seeing over and over in the Old Testament God longing to have an intimate loving relationship with us. One example is the book of Jonah. I have never understood Jonah. Just recently, though, I read it to my girls for school and I GOT IT! God wants to show His love and mercy through His relenting of punishing Nineveh. There are other examples but I won’t mention them now.
I want to share my journey into the love and grace of my Papa God to encourage others to seek a first hand revelation from God. This is a thought shared by a visiting pastor at church this morning. God wants to reveal Himself to us through His Word. I love the definition of His Word as it is in John 1:1. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. Then in verse 14 it says that the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. That is Jesus. Looking at the Scriptures with eyes and heart looking for Jesus and His finished work on the cross and been eye opening and freeing. It is all about Jesus! I am so amazed by the love Papa God has for me, Cindy Smith.
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