Love makes the difficult things easy!

Last night I found myself in bed unable to go to sleep.  That was probably due to my 3 hour nap, but I digress.  I found myself thinking about a quote from a book I recently read.  The main character was talking to someone about how scary it is to fall in love with another person.  He said that love makes the difficult things easy.  Yes, it was a romance novel.  I just can’t help myself!!!

This quote kept going through my mind last night and I thought about my life, in the real world, and how this applies to me.  In the grand scheme of life I know that my life is pretty cushy!  I am blessed with a husband who loves me, children, a beautiful home, and a life of privilege.  I have lived in China for several years and I know that I have many advantages that others in this world are not so fortunate to possess.  That being said, I have often struggled with depression and have found, at times, that life can be difficult and there are times I despair of feeling good about myself.

In light of this revelation, last night I thought about how love can make the difficulties of my life easy.  I found myself asking questions like, “How can love make me want to be active and productive?”  “How can love give me the energy to try and make choices where I engage life and not hide from it by napping or burying myself in a book?” “How can love make a difference in my life?” 

Now I am not talking about not being loved.  I am loved.  My husband lets me know how much he loves by telling me often, by desiring to be with me, through stopping and giving me a hug or a kiss, or many other ways of showing his love.  I know my friends love me.  I do not doubt the love of my girls or my family.  I feel blessed to have the love of so many different people.   So, it is not the love of others that makes the difference I am seeking.  It is not a self love either.  I will not pretend to not love myself.  I take care of my needs to the point that I feel, at times, that I put myself before those I love.

What love makes difficult things easy?  This may sound like a no brainer, but the love Papa God has for me is the answer!  I am amazed to find that I still need to marinate in the fact that I am truly loved and accepted by Papa.  I keep thinking that there is something I must “do” in order to feel righteous and whole.  I guess the Benjamin Franklin saying about God helping those who help themselves is still very much ingrained in my heart and mind.  

Before the finished work of Jesus on the Cross mankind had a lot of laws to follow in order to feel at peace with Papa.  I remember the first time I read about mold in the book of Leviticus and how it was to be treated by the Israelites.  I remember thinking that all that was required was so hard.  If someone found mold in their house they were to draw a circle around it and have the priest come look at it.  If it grew in a month there were rituals you were to follow and if it did not grow there were other rituals to follow.  I remember being struck by the thought that God wants me to be diligent in all areas of my life and I had to be on guard less mold start growing somewhere.  I felt that it was up to me and I pulled myself up by the boot straps to tackle life and drive out all of my impurities.  I mean, if God cared about mold in a persons home, how much more does He care about the sin in me?

That kind of thinking has really trapped me into beating myself up and lead to more and more condemnation.  In the last two years I have been seeping in the love of Papa God.  Whenever I feel compelled to do something to fix a problem (as I see it) Papa is right there saying, “Rest in me and know that it is finished!”  That has been harder than I thought it would.  I’m an American after all and we are doers!  Resting in Papa’s love is not natural for me.  It is surprising me that there are still pockets of thinking where I feel I must “do” in order to be in the love of Papa.

Last night I was thinking about love, true Love that Papa God has given to me in abundance and what an impact that can make in my life.  I wish I had come up with some definitive answers as to what being in His love will look like for me.  Wouldn’t it be great if I could tell you how to live in His love and experience the abundant life?  I cannot give you a 7 step program or a list of do’s and don’ts to follow.  It is about a relationship with Papa and resting in His love.  I feel that for the first time in a really long time that I am finally getting it.  Papa loves me, I am fully righteous, I a whole with nothing lacking.  For right now that is all I need to focus on.  The rest will take care of itself.

Blessings!

All things are lawful but all things are helpful!

1 Corinthians 10:23:  “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful but not all things edify.”

This verse has been stuck in my mind a lot lately.  In the last two years I have grown in my knowledge that there is nothing that I need to do in order to be righteous and that I am whole and complete.  I have stopped doing all the “have to’s” and “shoulds”.  I have stopped trying to judge if I am on the correct path but looking at what others are or are not doing.  I have not held others to my standards.  I have felt peace and love from Papa God and it is awesome!

Relishing in that freedom has been a wonderful change from the way I have lived my life so far.  I am not as anxious as I have been.  I just been sitting and not trying to change myself.  I feel that I am coming to a place where I accept myself for who God created me to be and I can see how what He created is wonderful!  I am a much loved and highly valued daughter of the King.  I have needed this time to just decompress and renew myself.  It is something that I needed to do and I am thankful that Papa God has helped me get off the road of trying to make myself righteous.

In the last month I have been thinking about my life and where I want to go from here.  One direction I want my life to develop is in the area of my health.  I am tired of always feeling run down and bloated.  I know that this comes from what I choose to eat and lack of exercise.  In the past I have tried to get healthy in order to please God, in order to fix myself, and to feel good about who I am.  Papa God showed me that He did not want me to worry about my health or trying to eat a certain way or force myself to exercise.  I have really enjoyed that freedom.  Recently though, I have felt a longing to feel energetic and full of life.  I want to change the way I eat in order to change the way I feel.  

Also, I have looked at the things I want to accomplish in my life time.  I want to be a writer.  I have so many ideas in my heart and mind and I want to share them with others in order to be encouraged to be the person they were created and designed to be.  I want to be able to one day own a resort on a beach somewhere with my husband.  I want to develop a crochet business as a way to express all the colorful and crazy ideas floating around in my head.  In having all these dreams I know I need to “do” something and I am learning to understand what that means.  In the past I would have thought I needed to do something to show Papa God I was worthy of doing these things.  This thought process would lead me to trying to prove myself to God and I don’t have anything to prove to Him.  He has given me all I need for life and godliness.

The verse in 1 Corinthians speaks to me in that I have freedom to do and be what I choose.  There are somethings that I have been doing that are not helpful and edify me.   Eating a lot of high sugar foods have not helped me to feel energized or reach the goals I have in my life.  Jesus came to give live and give it abundantly.  It is for freedom that Jesus has set me free.  Some of the things I have been choosing to do have not helped me enjoy the abundantly life Jesus has for me.  I am not convicted of a sin, I don’t feel I have to purge myself or beat myself up for the choices I have made, that is something I would have done in the past.  Now I see that what I have been doing is not the things I truly want to do and even though there is freedom in my choices I want to do things that help me and edify me.  The abundant life Jesus has given me cannot be taken away.  

I am not sure if I have explained myself clearly so I will try to sum it up as succinctly as I can.  I have freedom  in my life and Jesus came so that I don’t have the law hanging over me.  I don’t have to try and live up to that standard because, as Jesus said on the Cross, “It is finished!”  I no longer am satisfied with the choices I have been making like eating high sugary foods, not exercising, and putting off my writing.  I don’t have to wait for something supernatural to happen to change me and make me want to love the abundant life that is before me.  I have the freedom to choose the abundant life and to just let these other things that are not helpful to me fall away.  

Be blessed!

Sister Cindy

It Is Finished!

It is finished!

April 9, 2012

We just finished celebrating Holy Week and Easter.  What a wonderful event to celebrate.  Jesus Christ’s life culminated in His death, burial, and resurrection giving mankind the greatest gift ever.  Christ is risen!  He is risen indeed!

We took some time this weekend to re-paint the master bedroom.  It was great!  Not only do I have a pretty room, but I had some uninterrupted conversation with Sean (he rolls the big spots and I do the trim) and some alone time as Sean usually finishes before me.  It is funny how often times the conversations that Sean and I have spark my own private reflections.  This weekend was no different.

I was telling Sean about the victories I have been seeing in my desire to eat healthy and exercise.  This has been a struggle for me as long as I can remember but in the last few months I have seen some real changes that are so encouraging.  I have had times when I waited until I was actually hungry to eat (using my bodies clues as my guide).  In the past I would eat lunch because it was time to eat lunch not because I was hungry.  Over the holidays I was at a party and there was a huge platter of Christmas cookies right on the coffee table.  Do you know what?  I had maybe two cookies and totally forgot that they were there at all.  This is major!  To have cookies within reach and not go for them is amazing!  That comes from a changed mind and not changed behavior!  I am also not looking at exercise as a “have” to anymore.  I see it as something I want to do because I enjoy how I feel afterward.  When I do exercise I enjoy it and feel energized when it is over.  All these are changes that are exciting for me and are evidence that I am on the right track.

What track am I on you may ask?  Well, the answer lies in a conversation Papa after Sean left the room to clean up from painting.  I was telling Him how I was amazed at how resting in who Jesus is, what Jesus did, and who I am because of this is the bringing about the good fruit I have tried so hard to produce for myself.  I have spent 30+ years trying to change my behaviors, my thoughts, and my feelings in order to become or to gain Papa’s attention in order that I would stop craving sweets, want to eat veggies, want to exercise, and be a perfect size…whatever.  I have often heard the saying “You get an A for effort!”  Well, with Papa if that were true I should have been a size 8 in my early teens.  I was sincere when I fasted to break this hold on my life.  I repented of my sinful heart until I thought that I was a hopeless mess.  I memorized Scripture to change my thoughts.  I had accountability partners to keep me on track.  These are the things I had tried before instead of just resting in the Love and power of Papa.

When I was sharing my thoughts on how much better my struggle with food, body image, and weight was going Papa stopped me with on phrase.  I heard His say, “Cindy, you don’t have an issue or struggle anymore, it IS finished!”  I had to stop what I was doing and let that thought sink in.  What does that mean?   What?  How does this change my life?  Wow!

I have been able to spend some time thinking about this and to be honest, as of yet, I don’t have any real answers yet.  The one thing I do know is that I don’t have to label myself as having a weight problem anymore.  When Jesus walked this earth, He was tempted and tried just as I am now.  He resisted those temptations and bore those trials perfectly.  He died on the cross, having met all the requirements of the Old Covenant, and breathed His last saying “It Is Finished!”  He came back from the dead, not a ghost, and showed that He had become the victor over death.  He did this in order to re-establish the relationship Adam had with God in the Garden.  These truths were new in a way that astounds me.  There is more in what Jesus did than just eternal salvation and a get out of hell free card!

The words Jesus spoke before He did really spoke volumes to me in regard to my lifelong struggle with food.  It is finished.  Jesus took all of my sins on Himself over 2000 years ago, before I was born.  It is finished.  I can say that my struggle with food is over, finished because of Christ Jesus.  I am free of this because of Papa God and the work of Jesus!

Another thought that came to me while I was talking to Papa is that in the past I would go to the Cross and pour out my soul and then I would stay there.  This is not where Papa wanted me to stay though.  The power of the Christian life is not in the Cross-but the empty tomb, the resurrected Jesus.  Looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith, is where my strength comes from.  We are told we are co-heirs with Jesus and we are seated with Him in the heavenlies.  We are told we have been given all we need for life and godliness.  We are told that when we work out our salvation with fear and trembling it is Christ working in us to cause us to do God’s perfect will.  We are told that we have the same power that God used in raising Jesus from the dead.  These are the things I look to when I look to Jesus and where I feel Papa God wants me to look.

“It is finished!” are powerful life-giving words for me.  I am so thankful that Papa and I had that little talk.  I must add an aside.  I called to share this with a friend of mine and when she answered the phone I said, “I was thinking and I had a thought.  I wanted to share it with you.”  Imagine, thinking and having a thought all at the same time.  Amazing!

Blessings y’all!

Sister Cindy

What Have I Been Up To Lately?

What Have I Been Up To Lately?

April 5, 2012

Where did March go?  I look back and I have not written anything since February.  What is up with that?  March was a very hectic month.  Let’s see, we painted our hallway to the bedrooms, the stairwell down to the basement, and the home office.  I had to cover up the brown that covers most of the walls in our home.   It was here when we bought the place.  I am not a brown person!  I am a light color person.  Another thing that we did in March was help organize a Bible Quiz Invitational at our church.  That was crazy fun!  If anyone wants to know what Bible Quizzing is there are a lot examples on YouTube.  Check them out!  I also got sick.  Not fun!

April is here and I am getting back into the swing of things.  I have been doing a lot of looking into organization lately and I am getting the urge to organize and simplify my life, which includes my home obviously!  I feel better when things are clean and put tidy.  I feel inspired and light.  When things are dirty and cluttered I am drained of all energy and all I want to do is bury my head under the covers and pretend it is not there.  Well, no more pretending.  Painting a light Café Cream really helped brighten up the house.  I am planning on painting our bedroom a pale gray blue over the weekend and cannot wait to see the transformation.

Another thing that has been on my mind over the last month is my exercise routine, or lack there of.  I love how I feel when I walk on the treadmill regularly.  It is in front of the TV and I walk longer than if I don’t have the TV.  Right after Christmas I ordered a piece of work out equipment that will help strengthen my core and make me more flexible.  I used it a couple of times and then March happened.  I am going to get back into it and look forward to how well I am going to feel.  Look out world!  I am taking you on!  LOL!

I am happy to say that I have been working on my Masters of Crochet Stitches and Techniques is coming along nicely.  I have finished most of the written questions and as soon as I figure out how to do the gauge swatch I will finish up the remaining questions.  I have got to say that this gauge swatch has been hard for me.  I have done this swatch at least 10 times and have not gotten it right.  Oh well, I will never give up and never surrender.  I am excited about the fun stitches I have been using and look forward to using them in some fun new project.

There have not been any “Wow!” moments in my journey with Papa lately.  I feel that I am just getting more grounded in what He has already shown me.  The love of Papa God has also been saturating me and I am more convinced of His love for me.  I have had victories over the last month in regard to my eating.  I love Reese’s Peanut butter Cups and the other day I bought one and realized I was not hungry so I put it in the Fridge and waited until I was hungry to enjoy it.  That is happening more and more.  I am also feeling less guilt when I choose to eat something like a peanut butter cup.  There is no condemnation and I know that when I get to the point where I no longer experience that twinge of guilt that I will know it no longer has any hold on me.  Praise God! 

In the past I have tried to work really hard to make righteousness happen in my life.  If there were any credit given for effort I should have arrived long, long ago.  I hear of people who are able to “Just Do It” and I don’t seem to be one of them.  That is ok!  God made them that way and God made me this way.  I wonder if those who seem to be able to make up their mind they are going to change something and do it, if they are assured of their love, acceptance, and value in Papa’s eyes.  In the past I have thought I have to make the change before I feel those things.  He knows how sincerely I have tried and He knows how when I do it in my strength I fail.  In the last 18 months or so I have chosen to focus on the fact that I am whole, there is now no condemnation, that I am much loved by Papa!  The surprising thing is that I am changing in the areas I used to fast about, memorize Scripture about, and repent of continually.  When Jesus said as He breathed His last on the Cross “It is finished!”  That has given me so much strength in seeing that I am more than a conqueror and that greater is He who is in me!

So I will keep you up to date on all the going ons in my life and I may even share pictures!  Let me know what is going on with you and be blessed!

Sister Cindy 

Re-enchantment of Everyday Life!

Thoughts on Everyday Life

February 20, 2012

Last night I came across a title of a book that has really aroused my curiosity.   The book is by Thomas Moore and the book is entitled is “The Re-enchantment of Everyday Life”.  My imagination has gone crazy with thinking about what that means.  I looked for the Kindle version of the book and could not find one.  They have a hard copy version but nothing for my Kindle.  I am sad.  I have to decide how badly I want to read this book and if I want to purchase a hardcopy.

Enough about my issues with Kindle versus hard copy of books.  The thing that captured my attention was that everyday life could be enchanting.  I looked up the definition of enchantment and came across this definition: captivation: a feeling of great liking for something wonderful and unusual.  Well, that certainly does not sound like my everyday life.  I sometimes feel like my everyday life is lacking in color and lacking anything captivating.

Last night as I thought about what an enchanted everyday life might look like my heart seemed to expand and fill with so much love.  I had a vision of a life where things were set up in my everyday life to inspire my family and I could not go to sleep.  The possibilities of this thinking could really reshape my life into one of beauty.

I have thought about what this can look like and here are some specifics.  Keeping my house picked up.  In the past I have thought about housework as a something I “have” to do.  It is drudgery and something that has to be repeated over and over.  When I look at housework through the lenses of making life beautiful then it takes on a passionate quality.  I am doing something that will bring beauty into my life and make my home and family live a life above the level of mediocrity.  It is a worthy occupation of my time and energy.

Now looking at a kitchen that has dirty dishes on the counter or unfilled ice trays is not a reminder of what I should be doing with my day.  It becomes a disruption in the beauty of the life I am surrounding myself with.  Leaving the living room in a disarray of books and shoes and “stuff” is no longer acceptable to me because it is not adding to the beauty of life.  It is something I hope that I can convey to myself and my family and anyone who visits my home.

Thinking about adding a sense of enchantment (and hence beauty) to my everyday life makes me think of a dear friend of mine in Fort Wayne, IN.  She has such a gift for making everyday life beautiful and enchanting.  I love looking at her posts on Facebook and reading her blogs because of the plethora of ideas she so willing shares with her friends.  In the past I have thought that there was no way I could start doing that and sustain it.  When I looked at doing these sorts of things I felt that I just don’t have the creativity and energy required to make beauty happen.  Guess what?  I was wrong.  My friend makes her home beautiful and adds enchantment to it’s daily activities and so can I.

I think I will start small.  We have an island and bar in our kitchen and often times we eat there at night.  It does not set an enchanting atmosphere.  I can start by setting the table with nice lines and having the family sit around the table and visit.  I can light some candles and create an atmosphere were not only are our physical bodies being fed but our inner bodies as well.

I can start by simply staying on top of clutter.  It adds up so quickly.  It is as easy as bringing up a basket of clean laundry and saying I will fold it later and later becomes a couple of days.  Having baskets of unfolded laundry on your floor does nothing to create an enchanting daily life.  It is a reminder of tasks left undone and for me it makes me anxious.

One thought that comes to me as I think about and write about re-enchanting everyday life is that this is how Papa God wired me.  It is who I am deep down inside.  I can do this for myself and let it spill over onto those around me.   I am starting to see value in what Papa has placed in me and that because it is not super “spiritual” it is not worthy of my pursuit.  I can relish in this desire to create enchantment as a gift from Papa God.  It is something He loves as well, He created it after all.

I am sure that I will come up with more ideas of how I can make everyday more enchanting and I will share them as they come to me.  I would love to hear any ideas you have in how you create enchantment in your lives.  I will let you know if I decide to buy the book and read it.  I would love to wait for it to come to Kindle but I don’t know when or if that will happen!

Be blessed y’all!

Cindy

Armor of God

The Armor of God

February 16, 2012

Ok, last time I said I would tell you about my study of the armor of God from the book of Ephesians.  Let me start by giving you the passage.

10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— 19 and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.                         Ephesians 6:10-20 NKJV

Firstly, notice the following from verses 10-13 that I found very interesting.  We are told to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.  We are not told to try this method or that Scripture passage.  We are not told to pull ourselves up by the boot straps and “Git er done!”  We are to be strong in the Lord and He has given us all we need for life and godliness.  Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world.  The joy of the Lord is my strength.

We are also told twice to simply stand.  I looked this up and guess what the word stand means?  It means to stand, to be established, to be firmly fixed, (this one I really liked) continue safe and sound, stand unharmed, to stand ready or prepared.  The reason I liked that last one is because it means to stay in place, not running around looking for an answer or the right weapon with which to fight the battle, but to stand unharmed, ready, and prepared.  When we stand in the power of the Lord’s might and strength we stand unharmed and prepared.  Can I get an “Amen!”

Now what are we to stand against?  The wiles of the devil and they are cunning arts, trickery, and deceit.  These are not physical things we will experience but things that are not seen.  This got me thinking, where would theses battles take place and it came to me:  the Mind!  The devil wants me to be tricked into thinking that I am an enemy of God (Col 1:21) and that is what I battle against most.  I thought for so long that I had to be “good” in order to be at peace with God, but I was at peace with God when His Son Jesus died on the cross for me so very long ago!

So, let me put it all together for everyone.  The strength of the Lord and the power of His might is where we need to run when the devil tries to lie to us that we are enemies of God.  Being able to understand this awesome truth gives us the courage to stand, firm, unharmed, and prepared.  Amazing, we really “do” nothing.

Secondly, in verses 14-20 Paul describes the different articles of the armor that we are to put on.  Last summer our pastor did a series on the armor of God and as I studied along with him I was struck by how they each are a symbol of Jesus.  Let me explain.

Eph. 6:14 “Stand (do nothing! ; }) therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness…”  The first thought I had was about how Jesus described himself as the Truth, The Way, and the Life and that no one comes to the Father except through Him.  So this is saying I am to gird my waist with Jesus.  Excellent!  Also, I am to put on the breastplate of righteousness.  In the book of Romans we are told we are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.  Again I am putting on Jesus.  Again…excellent!

Eph. 6:15 “and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;”  We are to put of shoes that are the gospel of peace.  Who Jesus is, what He did, and who we are because of that is the essence of the gospel.  Jesus is the gospel, the good news for the whole world.   He came to so that we can have peace with Papa God.  So, we are again putting on Jesus. 

Eph. 6:16 “above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.”  There is that word faith.  I love that word.  I use to be afraid that I did not have enough faith in Jesus to be able to do anything worthy in His kingdom.  Recently I was in a study with a group of women and we spent time looking at faith and found some interesting things.  The passage that really gave me clarity came from

Romans 3:21-22

“But now the righteousness of God apart from the law is revealed, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets,

But now the righteousness of God apart from the law is revealed, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets, even the righteousness of God, through faith in Jesus Christ, to all and on all who believe….” When we were looking at this passage in the Greek we found that faith in Jesus was actually faith of Jesus.  That made all the difference for me.  It is not my faith but Jesus faith.  When I take up the shield of faith I am taking up the faith of Jesus that will quench the fiery darts of the devil.  Again, it is Jesus! Excellent! Eph. 6:17 “And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;”  The helmet of salvation was easy for me-Jesus is our salvation.  I found it interesting that it is the helmet of salvation because a helmet protects the head.  Earlier I mentioned that it is in our minds that we were enemies of God.  The evil one wants me to think that I am God’s enemy and it is salvation from Jesus that protects me.  It is knowing that I am a daughter of the King, that Jesus finished it all on the Cross, that I seated in heaven with Christ and that nothing can separate me from the love of Papa God that changes my mind, transforms my mind. The sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God got me really excited.  In John 1:1 it says that in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the word was God.  Then later in verse 14 it says and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.  Jesus is the Word and He became flesh and dwelt among us.  When I am taking up the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God I am taking up Jesus.  So excellent! It is Jesus.  In the rest of the passage Paul is asking for pray in what he is enduring but Jesus is what got him through the struggles.  He let Jesus fight for him.  That is what the armor of God is: it is Jesus!  We are putting on Jesus and we are standing in Jesus and letting Jesus fight for us when we are attacked.  It thrills me!  I have fought for a long time to be righteous in my own power and even used these verses to prepare myself.  Then it hit me this summer.  All I need to do is know the truth of who I am in Jesus and let Him fight for me! I hope this encourages you as it encouraged me.  I hope you know the depths that you are loved and valued by Papa God and rest in that truth! Blessings y’all!